Hi!

"Good design is as little design as possible."
- some German

I mean... it has everything you need to get a point across.

You don't need pictures which are 10MB, also you don't need 100kb of jQuery UI just so you can animate the background-color of a div and fuck those 15 megabyte parallax interactive banners. Not a single person needs them.

You. Are. Over-designing. Look at this shit. It's a fucking website. Why the fuck do you need to animate a trendy-ass banner flag when I hover over that useless piece of shit? You spent hours on it and added 80 kilobytes to your fucking site, and some motherfucker using his fucking cheeto fingers on their iPad will never see that shit. Not to mention blind people will never see that shit either, but they don't see any of your fucking shit.

To get my point across

• it's lightweight and loads fast
• fits on all your shitty screens
• looks the same in all your shitty browsers
• accessible to every asshole that visits your site
• gets your fucking point across (if you had one instead of just 10mb pics of some dudes looking at bar charts)

You probably can't break it

I mean there is nothing to break. No JavaScript no CSS no nothing, just fucking HTML. It's using HTML5 tags so you and your browser know what the fuck's in this fucking site. That's semantics for you.

It has content on the fucking screen. Your site has two bylines and link to your behance account, but you spread it over 5 full screens and make me click some random placed button to show me how cool the jQuery ScrollTo plugin is.

Cross-browser compatibility? Load this motherfucker in IE6. I dare you.

Also this shit here literally uses no cookies

It is responsive

You thought you needed media queries to be responsive, but no. Responsive means that it responds to whatever screensize it's viewed on. This site doesn't care if you're on an iMac or a fucking Tamagotchi.

Yes this is satire but also sincerely meant

What I'm saying is that all the problems we have with websites are ones we create ourselves. Websites aren't broken by default, they are functional, high-performing, and accessible. You break them and make them harder to understand and use.

Now you are probably asking: "Man who is this guy talking nonsense"

My name is Tobi, im a Webdesigner and an advocate for the DSGVO, I first did an apprenticeship as a Programmer and then as a Media designer and now I do everything from UX-UI design to programming